darling, everything's on fire

Are we talking about
fears
or insecurities?

Because I know I have a lot of the latter,
but the former seems too hard.

See, if we were talking about
insecurities
I could tell you about
my weight
that's perfectly fine,
but I'll never want to be
allowed to
donate blood.

I could tell you about the
secrets
I've hidden from the world
because I know it would
disown me if
only it
knew.

I could tell you about my
relationship
with the moon and
the sun and
how they still mean the
same things because they're
both an escape.

I don't know what fears are.

And I don't mean I'm brave because
I know I'm a coward.

I'm malleable.

I'll do anything they'll tell me,
just to fit in.
And they'll be none the wiser,
but I'll always have
my head bowed.

I know I'm a coward.

But what am I afraid of?

Obviously bees,
and I don't appreciate
hands around my neck.

But what terrifies me?

























I think I'm scared of loss.
























My experience with loss is fleeting
and I'm terrified of that meeting.























The loss of my


family


friends


mind.


I'm terrified of having
























nothing.

-S.H.