we were both young

You left and that's fine.

It's fine because you'll be back, not for a while, but you will come back.  And things will probably be different because we will be older and you will be wiser and I will always be a few steps behind.  Except, we have this unsustainable promise between us and I'm keeping it for now.

You are my brick.

I know we never said anything beautiful to each other, but at least we read each other's beautiful words.  And some of your words had to be about me.  They just had to be because if they weren't, I might not keep our promise.

You are my brick.

And maybe that's selfish.  Everything around me is changing and I'm using you to keep me sane.  I'm allowing myself to feel the escape for now because you aren't here.  But I'm telling myself that when you come back, I'm going to return to normalcy.  Maybe that's selfish.

You left and that's fine.

And I don't know why I'm giving you these words because I'm not sure if I love you.  But every time I let myself down, I let myself know that I've been waiting for you.  (Maybe that isn't how I should be doing this.)

You are my brick.

My days revolve around you writing back.  Because I want to read your words again and I want to remember them.  So it's okay that you took five months last time.  I had so much time to pound that paper into my brain.

You left and that's fine.

You are my brick and you will come back and everything will be just fine.

- S.H.