Maybe You Would've Been Something I'd Be Good At

How to get a boy to not like you:

Never ever turn off your 'outside' voice.  My mom says this works really well.

Constantly use cliche lines that will make his toes curl.  Things like, "I'm not like other girls."  He will laugh  in your face and tell you that every girl says that.

Be so clumsy that he'll think you can't take care of yourself.  I mean, really convince him you could be an invalid because of it.  He'll run.

Text him embarrassing things in the middle of the night like, "I just really need to know if I mean anything to you."  And when he doesn't text back, make sure to send him a text that says, "Are you there?"

Always wear a mask of giggles and smiles to distract him from your abyss of a soul.

Steal his things.  Like his hat or backpack or family.

Make jokes about kidnapping his family.

Don't stop being awkward.

And if none of this works,

if all else fails,

just tell him that you like him.

That always works for me.